Last week, I reflected on the loneliness that comes from living at the intersections of disability, race, and queerness. But there’s more to the story than just isolation. I’ve also discovered that these intersections, while challenging, have given me the tools to navigate life with resilience and empowerment.
Instead of allowing the wheels of loneliness to keep spinning, I’ve learned when to hit the brakes. Hitting the brakes has meant pausing to reflect, find control, and shift from simply surviving to actively thriving. In this process, I’ve found strength in the very complexities that once felt like barriers.
However, despite all this growth, one thing remains true: I haven’t yet found the community I’m searching for. It’s a reality I still navigate. Many of us at these intersections feel unseen—isolated not only because of our individual experiences but also because we don’t fully belong to any one space. The disability community might not fully understand the challenges of being queer or Black, and those communities may not fully grasp the unique challenges of living with a disability.
Building community is difficult. It takes effort, and sometimes those spaces don’t exist. I’ve learned that while I haven’t found the ideal community yet, it’s something I’m still striving for. For now, I focus on seeking spaces where my full self can be acknowledged. I’m in a constant process of searching for those connections, and that search itself can be empowering.
Interestingly, I’ve often found myself closest to individuals with whom I’m supposed to maintain professional boundaries, especially in my journey through social work. My career path frequently puts me in places where dual relationships blur the line between professional and personal. While there’s a deep connection with my providers, ethically, we aren’t meant to be close in the way peers or friends would be.
As a disabled person, this has been part of my reality. Over time, providers become a significant part of my social network. They know intimate details about my life, and they offer essential support. But there’s always that fine line between care and personal connection, which can deepen the sense of loneliness.
Hitting the brakes has allowed me to find empowerment in these spaces. Owning all parts of my identity and advocating for my needs in every context—whether in healthcare settings, school, or social spaces—has been a critical part of this journey. Recognizing my worth and stepping into my power has allowed me to turn these intersections into spaces of strength, even if true community is still something I’m seeking.
Living at the intersections of disability and other marginalized identities can indeed be lonely, but it can also be a source of resilience and empowerment. The key is to keep searching for or creating communities that understand and support all parts of who you are. These intersections don’t have to be isolating—they can be places of power, even if the journey is still ongoing.
How do you navigate empowerment in your own life? Have you had to ‘hit the brakes’ to take control of your journey? Share your experiences in the comments—I’d love to continue the conversation.
